


Not Answered Falsely

by captainlavender



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who & Related Fandoms, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: A second appearance by an old friend, BAMF Clara, Distinct lack of Doctor/Clara UST, Episode Fix-it: s07e13 The Name Of The Doctor, Gen, His real name is Doctor Idiot, No it's not Tom Baker, Plot Twists, Simeon was never the real threat, Trenzalore
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-04
Updated: 2014-03-04
Packaged: 2018-01-14 12:41:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,639
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1266958
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/captainlavender/pseuds/captainlavender
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"And you seemed so eager before," Simeon calls with a smirk. "Hurry it up now, Doctor."</p><p>The Doctor shakes it off and nods quickly. "Yes, fine."</p><p>"What's the code?" Clara whispers.</p><p>"My birthday," the Doctor tells her. "In my own calendar, I suppose. It's only appropriate." He activates the screen.</p><p>"I thought you'd forgotten your birthday," Clara muses.</p><p>"Forgot how old I am," he smiles. "There's a difference." He makes various complicated hand gestures onto the touchscreen and the door opens. As it does, there's a shake in the ground and the stone tunnel behind them seals itself. No going back, then.</p><p>"This isn't nearly as satisfying as I'd hoped," Dr. Simeon says, gliding past. "On the plus side, it seems you've finally learned to obey."</p><p>The Doctor looks at him hatefully. "You don't know what you're risking, bringing me here. You want to kill me, at least hurry it up."</p><p> </p><p>Rewrite of Name of the Doctor (before the Christmas special turned out to *also* be a rewrite of Name of the Doctor). There's a much better reason than Simeon to avoid Trenzalore, and now Simeon is dragging the Doctor right into its path.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. I could've done so much more

**Author's Note:**

> This is written basically in script format, not my usual thing, but I really did mean it as a replacement episode. This has all been Jossed by the Christmas special, of course, but... I'm still not sure I like their explanation better. Because that's all this is: an illustration of my preferred explanation.

"I'm sorry we had to contact you this way, my dear," Vastra tells her. "But this could not be more urgent." They sit around a table in a well-appointed, nonexistent room. There is tasteful nonexistent décor and lovely nonexistent tablecloths.

 

 

Clara nods. "What it is?"

 

Vastra looks at Jenny unhappily and grabs her hand. Not a good sign. "We discovered the Gallifreyan translation of the name Trenzalore."

 

"Trenzalore?" The word sounds familiar. She frowns, remembering. "What's that?"

 

"He hasn't mentioned it?" Vastra frowns at this. "It's a planet, my dear. On which no question can remain unanswered, or be answered falsely. One which the Doctor must never, ever step foot on. For his sake, and so many others."

 

"What?" this isn't helping, and it's making her nervous. "I don't understand. Why is it so dangerous?"

 

"Always a way out," a sad voice whispers in her ear before Vastra can reply; Clara looks around but there's only empty air. Then suddenly there are dozens of them, overlapping all around, all the same woman's voice. "Run. A way out. Run." They're getting louder, and then Jenny slumps over. Vastra stands in alarm.

 

"We're under attack." She draws her weapon. Clara moves to guard her back. She can't see anything. Oh god, she can't see anything attacking them.

 

"Tell the Doctor, it's called the Garden of Tombs." Vastra whirls and grabs Clara's shoulders. "Tell him!"

 

"Always a way out," the voices whisper, buzzing in Clara's head, and suddenly that's all she can feel, and then she's waking up.

 

***

 

When she tells him, his face goes white with shock for a second. Then he laughs. Then he throws her mobile against the wall and gives a yell of rage, and at that Clara steps back in fear. He stands there for a moment, then collapses onto the seat behind him, head in hands.

 

"Doctor," Clara edged closer. "Why are you so afraid of Trenzalore?"

 

The Doctor sighed and looked down. "Because a very long time ago, I did something very bad. And on Trenzalore I'm going to pay for it."

 

And to this, Clara has no response.

 

The console makes a ringing alarm noise, stark against the miserable silence. She turns to him, startled at the sound.

 

"The phone," the Doctor says sadly. They share a look, Clara anxious and puzzled, the Doctor full of dread. He fiddles with switches and a hologram appears. It's Simeon. Or rather, not-Simeon.

 

"Am I speaking to the Doctor?" he asks when they pick up.

 

"You must know that," the Doctor replies.

 

"Fine. As you no doubt have realized, I am now in possession of your friends, the two women and the potato. What you may not be aware of is the arrangement I have with the xygons, which is currently motivating them to quietly surround Earth with weapons poised. I prefer to get to the point quickly, you see.”

 

"What do you want?" the Doctor asks him quietly.

 

"You to stop asking questions you already know the answers to, for one," Simeon answers sharply. "Trenzalore, Doctor. Not soon. Now."

 

For a moment the Doctor seems full of rage -- no, Clara decides, grief -- and then he calms. "Just give me a chance to leave Clara somewhere safe," he says crisply. "Give me that."

 

Simeon scoffs. "What in all cosmos makes you think I would grant a request like that? Really."

 

"Please," the Doctor looks scared, and desperate, and it's making Clara a whole new level of worried. "It's in your best interest as well. You don't need her. You'll have your revenge."

 

"Please, take me in her place!" Simeon imitates. "My god, it's insufferable. Now, I can only call them off for another,” he checks his watch, “Six minutes and thirteen seconds. And I'm enforcing that.” He waggles his finger at the Doctor. “The time barrier is going up around the planet as we speak. Best hop to it.”

 

The line goes silent.

 

Clara isn't sure what to do, but the Doctor is trembling, panicked and furious, and she's only just realized that she's never seen that before.

 

"Trenzalore," he murmurs, backhanding a tear threatening to fall. "I suppose it's time, then." He starts the machine. Then he stands back to look at the console.

 

"I shouldn't go," he says to the air. "I should let them die."

 

Suddenly Clara can't remember ever being this afraid.

 

The silence last nearly the whole way. Clara hasn't yet come up with anything to say, and the Doctor obviously isn't feeling very loquacious. She's watching him fly when the ship begins to shake.

 

"Should've known," he mutters angrily. "She doesn't want to go." It's now rocking, and Clara has to grab a rail for support.

 

"Are we going to land soon?" she asks, trying to sound calm and unconcerned.

 

"I'll take care of it," he tells her grimly, yanking harder and flipping toggles faster. She wraps both arms around the rail and holds on. She doesn't open her eyes until they land, quite unpleasantly, with a lurch. The TARDIS begins making an odd noise, like a bell tolling. She looks, and the Doctor is touching the console sadly.

 

"I know, my dear," he murmurs. "It hurts. But we were always going to say goodbye." He spins to face Clara, and gives her the nod. She stands, still hesitant, and the Doctor walks to the doorway like a waiting gallows.

 

He turns to her just as they reach the door, spinning to face her and block the exit.

 

"Clara," he stares into her eyes, "this has never been more important, do you hear? You have to listen to me out there. You _have_ to do what I ask. Do you understand?"

 

She frowns and nods. "Yes, all right."

 

"No," he tells her. "Clara. It's more important than it's ever been. Please. _You must do as I say._ "

 

She clenches her jaw and looks down stubbornly. "Fine. Got it." They open the left door.

 

The Doctor goes first, emerging cautiously, then beckons her out. It's a dreary place, seemingly one gigantic burial ground.

 

"They're not here," she feels the need to observe.

 

"No," he answers. "The Intelligence is probably waiting with them at my tomb. Look for an entrance, or a path. We need to be moving five minutes ago." They've already passed the barrier, so she's not sure what he means by that. He speaks quietly, scanning his surroundings as if expecting some huge predator to come stalking by without warning. Trying to be quiet too (even if she's not sure why), Clara looks over his shoulder and thinks for a moment she can see a woman, all gold, but when she blinks the mirage is gone. She turns back to her companion.

 

"I can ask you questions now, can't I? And you have to answer honestly."

 

He sighs at her. "Yes. Clara."

 

"If I'm going to die I think I should get some explanation. What's waiting for us here, Doctor? Why are you so afraid of Trenzalore?"

 

His face shows a moment of haunted terror before he blinks it away. "I think you know about that. Didn't you hear what Vastra said?"

 

"Yes I did, but it only confused me," Clara says automatically. "Oooh, that's not good. Don't like that."

 

"Exactly," he tells her. "It's not polite."

 

"Then I'm sorry. But stop evading, Doctor. What's going to happen? What's here?"

 

He exhales. "Something I can't fight." His terror is making Clara very, very nervous.

 

"Doctor," she reproaches. "How is that helpf--" she stops because he's rushing off, looking at one of the tombstones. "What?"

 

"River," he says breathlessly, crouching to look at the inscription more closely. "But... I don't understand..."

 

The name is familiar. "You mentioned her before. Were you in love?"

 

"Irrelevant," he answers. He furtively scans the sky again for a moment, then looks back down at it. "No, this can't be her. It's a signal. It's an entrance!" He finds the mechanism and a stairway opens into the earth. "Come on," he ushers her down first, even though she doesn't want to go.

 

"You're going to find out very soon now," someone says behind her, but when she turns there is no-one. It was that same woman's voice, she suspects. The Doctor reaches the bottom of the stairs and joins her.

 

"Doctor, I think--" she begins, but he's already off at a trot. She frowns, and follows suit.

 

"No matter where we're going, we always have to go underground," Clara observes. "Seems like that, anyway. Have you noticed?"

 

The Doctor shrugs. "You know, I once saw a planet where everyone lived in the ground -- not deep underground, just partway under, inside hills. Very well-appointed, considering."

 

Clara snorts. "I think you're confusing real life with Lord of the Rings again."

 

The Doctor only smiles smugly to himself. "Of course. How silly of me." Clara gives him a suspicious glance, but since it's directed at the back of his head, the Doctor misses it.

 

"Do you know what Simeon is going to do?" she asks, forgetting again to rephrase it.

 

"Yes. Maybe. He isn't Simeon, he's the 'Great Intelligence'," she can actually hear the Doctor rolling his eyes at the title. "If he's taking me here, most likely it means he wants to undo me."

 

Her mouth drops open. "Wants to _what?_ "

 

"Undo me," the Doctor repeats. "Erase me and all I've ever done. Every victory, every person I've saved. Lives will flare out. Planets will burn. And I will never have been."

 

He keeps walking, but she has to pause for a moment, stunned. "Doctor, but, you can stop him, right? We --"

 

Then there's a flash of gold in the corner of her eye again.

 

She looks down the hall extending off to her right. It's a woman, wearing a gold dress.

 

"The battle is won," she tells Clara. "But the child is lost."

 

Clara backs away and looks ahead to her guide. "Doctor, I..." but she turns back and the woman is gone. She catches up to him again.

 

"Doctor, I think I saw--"

 

"Shhh!" he holds out his arm to stop her and looks around. After a tense moment, his arm goes down.

 

"I don't think he sees into this place," the Doctor scans the tunnels warily, with eyes and sonic. "But that doesn't make it safe." He seems satisfied after a moment, and begins moving again.

 

"I don't want to ask you questions," Clara begins, after they've resumed walking. "But I would very much like to know what else is going on here, Doctor. I think you were here before. Maybe you could tell me about that."

 

He feels a surge of gratitude. "Thank you, Clara. Yes, I suppose I should."

 

He exhales, and pauses for a second to turn and look at her. "When I was very young, I thought all rules were for breaking. I stole a ship, and my first stop was the planet where timelords bury their dead. The Garden of Tombs. I went there because we weren't allowed, so no timelord had ever visited it before. I found the idea very exciting." His stride quickens, and she has to catch up to keep talking.

 

"What did you find?" she asks from behind him. "Oh, sorry."

 

"I found that rules sometimes exist for a good reason." His jaw clenches and he speeds up even more.

 

"Doctor..." Clara admonishes.

 

"You want to know what reason. What I found here." He slows down suddenly and she almost walks right into him. "I, um. This planet has a keeper, a guardian of sorts. The Elder Child."

 

"Sounds... threatening?" Clara is a bit unsure about this one.

 

"The Elder Child has always been alone, and it was meant to always remain alone. I didn't understand how important that was."

 

"That seems unfair," she frowns.

 

"It is," he acknowledges. They reach a juncture, and he waves the sonic around again before choosing the tunnel on the left. "The Child was never supposed to understand the nature of two souls meeting. It knows only the dead, and it is eternally dying itself, this world fed by the pain of that living death. To the Child, there was no such thing as love, or understanding, or even so much as speech."

 

Her mouth opens. "But that's awful."

 

"Some things are awful, Clara. It knows this world, and it found me quickly. But it didn't understand. How could it? I spoke to it, and it began to comprehend, that I was alive, that we were communicating; but there was something missing. It didn't believe that I wasn't alone, too. It didn't believe there was such a thing as love, or caring. And seeing it, all the pain it bore without even questioning, without even _knowing_ \-- well, you know me. I let my feelings get the better of me, as usual. I told it what it was to have a family, to be cared for." Clara swipes a cobweb out of the way as they pass it.

 

"So you told the Elder Child love exists," she responds, frowning. "And that's bad?"

 

The Doctor's jaw works. "What's bad is that I told the Elder Child I could prove it."

 

Her eyebrows shoot up. "What?"

 

"I told you, it didn't believe me; it couldn't, not all alone like it is. I told it --" he looks back at Clara with reluctance, "I told it I had a family, kin, a species. And it was dying, and needed it so much, so I -- I promised I would show it. That I'd come back and prove to the Child that we people, we're born together, of the same blood and substance, and that we love each other, understand each other so well... I promised I'd come back with my family." He swallows. "And then I left. And then Gallifrey burned."

 

"But now you're back," Clara finishes in terrible understanding.

 

"Back, and the last of my species. This is the day I've been running from, because I had to avoid it. At all costs. Never even used my real name again, because it hears, wherever you are it hears." He exhales. "They say the blind have superior hearing. I suppose this is the ultimate example."

 

"What will it do?" Clara asks. "When it finds out who you are?"

 

"Die," he says softly. "Just die, and take everything good with it. No language. No communication. We'll be trapped in our own minds, unable to even remember that other people exist. We'll just all keep on living, alone, always and completely." His mouth twists. "Personally, I'd rather the universe just ended." For a moment neither of them can say anything in response to that. Clara swallows.

 

"So that's your solution then?" she demands. "Kill yourself, and billions of people, because you're afraid of a child?"

 

"Clara," he says warningly.

 

"But there's always another way," she insists. "You showed me that. There's always a way out."

 

He looks at her, so, so old. She can see every day of it now.

 

"Not this time," he responds. Then he turns and begins walking again. "Come along."

 

She watches him for a moment, shattered. Then she obeys.


	2. Everything has its place. And everything ends.

He stops them before the last bend in the corridor, and they pop their heads out to look, Clara stepping on the Doctor's foot in the process. The corridor opens to daylight, and there not-Simeon stands. Nearby are Vastra, Jenny and Strax, bound by some sort of glowing fiber and looking very sullen. Vastra glares venom at her captor, who only smirks back, wearing her blade at his side. Clara falls off the Doctor's foot with a very audible "oomf!"

 

Simeon chuckles at the sound. "We've arrived then. Come on, Doctor, don't be shy."

 

The Doctor shoots Clara a dirty look. She shrugs apologetically, and they reluctantly make themselves known. The Doctor is clearly very unhappy at having to emerge aboveground, even for a moment. Now that she knows why, Clara isn't exactly thrilled either. There's a stone doorway with some glowy blue screen next to it (a keypad?). The Doctor approaches it briskly, then stops and just stands there, for a moment. Staring at destiny.

 

"And you seemed so eager before," Simeon calls with a smirk. "Hurry it up now, Doctor."

 

The Doctor shakes it off and nods quickly. "Yes, fine."

 

"What's the code?" Clara whispers.

 

"My birthday," the Doctor tells her. "In my own calendar, I suppose. It's only appropriate." He activates the screen.

 

"I thought you'd forgotten your birthday," Clara muses.

 

"Forgot how old I am," he smiles. "There's a difference." He makes various complicated hand gestures onto the touchscreen and the door opens. As it does, there's a shake in the ground and the stone tunnel behind them seals itself. No going back, then.

 

"This isn't nearly as satisfying as I'd hoped," Dr. Simeon says, gliding past. "On the plus side, it seems you've finally learned to obey."

 

The Doctor looks at him hatefully. "You don't know what you're risking, bringing me here. You want to kill me, at least hurry it up."

 

They follow Simeon into the cavern, which offers only cold stone and the chill of moisture. It's dark, though they can still see, and everything is grey, dead. What must be the Doctor's grave swirls in its center, branches and hairline fissures tracing out a glowing white path which the Doctor tells her is his timeline, the marks of all his travels on the canvas of spacetime. Simeon makes his threats and bares his teeth and Clara trembles beside Vastra and Jenny as he stands before the beam. There's been no opening. No chance to seize the advantage. This is actually going to happen.

 

"But you can't," Vastra declares in bewilderment, still fighting her restraints. "The Doctor's saved us all, Intelligence. You'd be destroying the universe."

 

"Perhaps an overstatement of the case." Simeon raises an amused eyebrow. "The web repairs itself. And those who remain shall be, at long last, rid of _him_." He turns to the Doctor. "No final words, my old foe?"

 

"You're a fool," the Doctor stares at him. "You've always been a fool. And never more than right now."

 

Simeon's face twists into rage. "So be it, Doctor. Arrogant to the end. I hope you've enjoyed your last laugh, because this," his eyes lock with the Doctor's and he smiles with satisfaction, "is my _long_ -awaited goodbye." He steps into the light.

 

Chaos. The Doctor collapses. Jenny cries out and Vastra catches her before she falls. Clara runs outside with Strax. The stars are going out.

 

The Doctor is moaning weakly on the ground when she returns. Vastra is cradling Jenny and exchanging panicked words. Strax joins them, and Clara goes to the Doctor.

 

"I'm sorry, Clara," he says, barely managing more than a whisper. "It has to be this way. Tell Vastra. I'm sorry." And there's a wail, and when Clara looks over Vastra's arms are empty and her mouth still open in shock.

 

"Doctor," Clara looks back down at him. "Stop it. There has to be a way to fix this. If I could just--"

 

She turns and looks up into the light. Beside it, smiling gently, is the woman in the gold dress.

 

"Hello, sweetie," she says, which feels rather forward to Clara until she hears the Doctor stir next to her.

 

"River," he names her. "You died."

 

She laughs. "Guilty." She nods at Clara, currently gaping in shock. "Hello, Clara. So good to meet you. Strax. Vastra, I'm sorry," she greets the others. Vastra looks up at River, confusion barely penetrating her grief.

 

"Why are you here, River?" the Doctor asks her.

 

"You know why," River tells him. "I'm owed this."

 

"No," he answers. "I'm dying. It doesn't happen."

 

"It does," she replies. "And I get to be there."

 

" _Why?_ " And for the first time she can ever remember, Clara sees a tear roll down his face. "Why would you want to?"

 

River looks at him with infinite pity. "Oh, Doctor." Then she turns her gaze to Clara, and extends a beckoning hand. And, oh -- now she sees.

 

"Clara," the Doctor cautions. "Clara, _no_. River, tell her."

 

River smiles just a little, and locks eyes with Clara. "It will work," she tells her. "I'm sorry. It's the only way to save him. Save all of them."

 

"Why are you doing this?" the Doctor pleads quietly.

 

Clara stands. She walks to the woman, River. Stares at the beam and resists the impulse to take her hand. Doesn't look like it would work, anyway. She can't bear the sight of the light for a moment and looks into River's eyes.

 

"I'm scared," she blurts.

 

"I know," River's face twists with grief. "It's unfair. But it is your choice, love. I know how big a risk it is, and not only for you."

 

"But it will work," Clara forces herself to look back into it. "And if I don't do it, they'll all die."

 

"Clara..." the Doctor manages weakly.

 

"Yes," River answers. "And there is much reason to hope."

 

Clara's gaze snaps back to River's face. There must be a secret there, something big, and happy. Otherwise this woman's eyes wouldn't be so full of encouragement, would they? Full of promises. She takes a deep breath, turns back to face the Doctor's prone form.

 

"We don't let millions die to save billions," Clara tells him. "We don't make those choices. Remember? We don't walk away."

 

"Grandstanding," he gasps. "Nonsense. Ignore it."

 

"But it _is_ worth it,” she looks down at him, needing him to understand. “You're so good at making it work out, but even when it doesn't – it's always worth it. That's what you taught me. That strength.”

 

"Please," he begs. "It has to be like this. It has to happen. Please don't do this."

 

"But I have." Funny how it doesn't look so scary, just little white lines. All those deaths. She takes a deep breath. "That's what you meant before, wasn't it? I've done it already. You've already seen me. I save you. Every time, I save you."

 

She steps in.

 

***

 

She is nowhere. It's dark.

 

"I've remembered something important," she tells the blackness. Slowly shapes are appearing, and she can discern the shadowy forms of every Doctor, passing her by like phantoms. Except... except for that one. That one she doesn't recognize. How can that be?

 

She steps closer to him. "Doctor?" He turns to face her, and it's an old man. He doesn't even look familiar.

 

"No, child," he tells her, and his face breaks her heart. "Not I."

 

"Clara!" the Doctor -- her Doctor, the live one -- is here somehow, grabbing her hand. "Come with me! Hurry now."

 

She takes his hand, and the darkness dissolves around them. The Doctor looks over her shoulder at the figure, and his eyes are afraid.

 

They fall out back into the cavern. The woman in gold has disappeared.

 

The Doctor is up immediately. "What did I tell you?!" he demands, while she's still getting to her feet. "Ugh!" He throws his hands up in disgust. "Should've picked someone less selfless."

 

"Doctor," she tells him. "I've remembered something important. Something--"

 

"Yes, yes, later," he waves her off, and rushes to the doorway, eyes darting about his surroundings frantically.

 

"Doctor, he's gone," Vastra reassures him. "Simeon's gone."

 

His eyes flick wildly around, never resting. "Simeon was never what I was afraid of. Now, move."

 

Strax produces a weapon (from where? best not ask) and Vastra pointedly retrieves her sword from where Simeon threw it on the ground. Neither weapon is exactly applicable, but she's not telling them that.

 

They start the journey back, keeping low to the ground.

 

"Doctor," Clara whispers, crouched behind a boulder. "I really think you'd want to know--"

 

He shushes her angrily. She stops, but narrows her eyes at him.

 

"What is it?" Vastra whispers to her. "What's coming?"

 

"It's called the Elder Child," Clara whispers back. Vastra's eyes widen with horror ("not--!"), but then they're off again, staying low to the ground. They find another boulder and Doctor keeps watch, not looking away for an instant. She tugs his coat and he swats her off. She coughs conspicuously, and he growls but only spares her a disapproving look. Not good enough.

 

"Doctor," Clara suddenly grabs his face with both hands. He tries to wiggle free, but she won't let him go. "Do you love me?"

 

His eyes go wide. "Do I...?"

 

She rolls her eyes. "Not like that. I just mean..." she releases him and looks away, feeling a bit foolish, "do you love me?"

 

"Oh," he smiles. "Oh. Of course." She smiles back, and he puts a hand on her hair and kisses her forehead.

 

"Good," she tells him fondly, smirking as their eyes meet. "Now turn around."

 

The smile leaves. He turns, and there it is -- the Elder Child.

 

It doesn't look like a child. It's massive; the ground should shake when it walks, but somehow it treads lightly. Its body is a half-formed mass of black and claws, and its eyeless face is like something from a nightmare, twisted with broken features, and a mouth that opens wrong with two massive fangs. It bends down to them, enveloping them with its shadow, and none of them can keep from flinching.

 

"Are you visitors?" the Child asks. It speaks slowly, as if unaccustomed to the act. "Have you come to see me?"

 

Clara covers her mouth and blinks back tears.

 

"We have," the Doctor answers. "And I am so sorry."

 

"Doctor--" it's River voice. She's rematerialized. The Doctor cuts her off with a raised hand.

 

"Doctor," the Child speaks the word carefully. "Doctor who?"

 

The Doctor turns to takes one last look at them -- Vastra, Jenny, Strax. And all those from before. All dead, or living on without him. He hopes they found happiness, hopes they have lived long and peaceful lives until this moment.

 

Clara. He wishes she hadn't chosen such a terrible path so needlessly.

 

He takes a breath, and walks over to the waiting child. He stops, closes his eyes, and whispers a word into its ear.

 

***

 

"It was the first time we met," he hears. He turns and Clara is there, grinning. "That's what I remembered."

 

The Doctor stands dumbly, one hand still touching the Child. He can't remember feeling so confused and lost. "Penny in the air," River informs him gently. He has no idea what she could mean.

 

"You weren't alone then," Clara continues. "You didn't want anything to do with me. But your friend was kinder, even if she didn't quite believe I was real. You said I was nothing like you, but she told you I was."

 

His mouth falls just a bit open.

 

"No," he breathes, because miracles might happen for Amys and Roses but they don't happen for him, not in his experience, and yet --

 

"I guess none of those prophecies saw it coming," her smile shakes as tears prick her eyes. "But then, they tell me I'm a generated anomaly."

 

"Jenny," he whispers. River is beaming.

 

"Hullo, Dad," Clara says. "Oh, and you're welcome."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> ...
> 
>  
> 
> Wouldn't this be cool, though?!
> 
> (P.S. See what I did there with the "Jenny" tag? Eh? Eh?)


	3. If he ever, for one moment, accepted it

Everybody is checking each other over for injuries. The Doctor tries to turn around to look back up while being fussed over from multiple angles. "Thank you, Doctor," the Child rumbles at them. The Doctor is apparently busy admiring it. Color seems to be seeping into the Child's body, little by little, and vitality with it. Its breathing becomes less strained.

 

"Thank you as well," Clara tells it. "You've helped us so much."

 

The Doctor snaps to attention. "Right," he finds the right pocket in short order. "You'll be wanting this." He produces a gadgety watch-looking thing, and offers it up.

 

"Doctor!" Vastra gasps.

 

"Least I can do," he says over his shoulder. "Here!" he calls up. "You should take it."

 

It extends one hand. Its fingertips writhe independently. The Doctor drops his watch gadget onto the appendage.

 

"I've set it to Seti-Omega four," he tells it. "Lots of big beasties there, a very friendly bunch. I think they'll take to you. No need hanging around here anymore, is there? You're getting better by the moment."

 

It clasps the watch to its body.

 

"You have helped me so much," it speaks. "In return I can only--"

 

And then, it vanishes, which. Clara supposes that's about as much thanks as he usually gets.

 

***

 

"But you can't."

 

She smiles, but there is so much sadness. "But I must."

 

"It's not fair," he tells her.

 

"I know."

 

He looks at the ground, jaw working. "Now?"

 

"Well, I had to come back and save the universe, didn't I?" she laughs. The Doctor nods, sheepish but philosophical. "One more time. I know you; you always muck it up."

 

He laughs too, then. But it's a rather pathetic laugh. "Never one to sugarcoat, my wife. Perfectionist."

 

"Amateur," River responds. "Besides, I got to see Clara. She's sort of my daughter too, in a way, don't you think?"

 

He's crying again, dammit. "She's certainly got enough of you in her."

 

"Not only the Child hears echoes, you know," she tells him. "And I'm not just the last River right now. I'm all of them. And we all heard." She takes his hand somehow. He looks up at her, bewildered. It's warm -- how could it be warm? "That's why I got to stay -- to hear your name. But you knew that."

 

"River," he chokes.

 

“Don't feel too guilty, sweetie,” she smiles crookedly. “I did a lot more with my life than just chase after you. But I had to do was was right.”

 

"Right," he repeats. He looks into her eyes and the sadness of it and the beauty of it, it's like the infinite sadness and astonishing beauty of the universe. Or perhaps just living. That might be it.

 

"River," he addresses her. "Goodbye."

 

She beams.

 

"Oh, Doctor," she meets his eyes. "Hello."

 

And then his hand is empty.

 

***

 

Clara touches his shoulder. "We need to take them home now."

 

He nods. "Quite so."

 

She laughs awkwardly. "Should I call you Dad?"

 

"If you want," he says. "It would feel wonderful to hear it again, though. ...Oh, right." They were still on the surface, so questions were still problematic.

 

"Sorry," she grimaces. "Well. Sort of. A bit." He scoffs.

 

They return. Vastra and her gang are waiting for them by the TARDIS. The ride back is short and nearly silent. The gang waits uncomfortably until they land.

 

"Doctor," Vastra nods to him as she leaves. "Thank you."

 

Jenny smiles at them, and curtsies. Then she gives them a big, bawdy wink and leaves at a strut.

 

Strax turns around as he leaves, and gives a crisp salute. The Doctor doesn't have the strength to object, and Clara just thinks it's nice.

 

Then they're alone again.

 

He's still bent over the console, staring at knobs and buttons. Clara finds him again, and he turns to her, face naked with grief and shock and relief and awe.

 

"It's been awhile," she says, and gives him an uncertain smile.

 

"How?" She gets the feeling that's all he can manage.

 

"Well, I had lots of adventures and saved loads of people, I'll have you know," she smirks, and his mouth twitches up with unacknowledged amusement. "And I must say, you were right about the running."

 

His smile broadens a tiny bit. "There is an awful lot of it."

 

“Well, I guess I found a problem you haven't yet,” she tells him. “Because I was unlucky enough to run into weeping angels while I was regenerating.”

 

His expression turns distressed.

 

“It was a near call. Luckily they were stopped before they could erase me entirely, but by then I was a baby. I was found and brought to a hospital, then matched with a couple looking to adopt.” He still looks horrified, so she touches his shoulder again, gently. "It's all right, Dad. I got to have a childhood. That's a happy thing, isn't it?"

 

"Children seem to be growing up at all the wrong times lately," he says enigmatically. "But yes, you're right. I'm glad for that." He nods to himself.

 

"Well?" she prompts.

 

He stands up, looks into her eyes, and grabs her in a smothering hug. She's laughing, and his nose is smooshed into her hair and hopefully those are tears and not snot. Do full-timelords make snot?

 

He draws back a bit. "Oh!" something occurs. "But that one time... you, erm.."

 

She cringes. "I know, weird. Sorry. At least it was just a snog."

 

He frowns and gives an exaggerated shudder, and disentangles their arms so he can more effectively wag his finger at her. "Well, we'll have _no_ more of that, young lady. I won't have you bringing your young men aboard and such. I think I do own a shotgun. Somewhere."

 

"Ha! After everything you owe me? I should be in charge."

 

The Doctor is Very Offended. "What? You are my daughter, miss, and this is my house -- ship -- um, thingie. My rules."

 

"Oh, god," she says. "I have three parents now, don't I. I can just tell you're going to be insufferable."

 

His smile fades. "You know we're the only ones left." She swallows.

 

"I know." The grief in him takes away her smile for a moment. "I'm sorry it hurts so much."

 

He looks away and nods. Takes a few steps toward the console and touches it absently. He grabs a toggle and Clara gets a notion. She walks to him, wraps her hand around his.

 

"Come on then," she winks. "Off we go."

 

A grin spreads over his face.

 

"Right," he answers, and they pull the toggle down together. Then he starts laughing, because it's all wonderful, it's more wonderful than he ever could have expected. "Right then, off we go."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ...
> 
> ...
> 
> So, I hope you enjoyed my weak-ass excuse as to River already knew the Doctor's name. If you have a better one, please substitute as needed. And maybe tell me about it in the comments..?
> 
> I'd like to thank absolutely no-one because I could not convince anyone I know to read this, either in progress or after I'd finished with it. You guys are super lazy!


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